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"It's a long way to go for a Burger King Meal!"

Bromley to Brighton Off-Road 12^th May 2008

A few months ago, we had the grand idea that we can emulate Bigfoot Bike Clubs' yearly "Shopfront to Seafront" ride to Brighton from the shop. 54 miles for the roadies one way... how would we fare?

So after a vigorous selection process by our leader Richard - namely: how many people did he have in his phone's address book, he managed to convince Chris Featherstone, Nigel Pearce, Gary Randall, Matt Lancaster, Me (Sparky), The Richie Brothers - Michael, Paul and John and Ian Parker to join him. We also have in the fortunate position to have Roger, the Bigfoot shop owner to support us in our travels.

All experienced MTB'ers with a single goal - to get to Brighton the hardest way possible!

So, 6.30am on Monday morning on a glorious May morning, most of the riders set off from the shop meandering their way through Hayes and Keston upto the White Bear pub after 5 miles to meet up with me (I came a direct route via Biggin Hill - not as many miles, but a couple of big climbs to even the score!) Once we'd all exchanged the local banter, we "cracked on" and set off on our epic ride.

And what an epic it turned out to be!

Our route was "split" into 20 mile segments, with Roger meeting us to replenish our drinks, gels and food, as well as being there for emergencies, if they ever arose. We had agreed before hand to take an ample supply of spares, including a Trek Fuel EX8 if things got really bad, and lifts to train stations if it GOT REALLY BAD!

No fear, we were "Bikers United!" as we pedalled our way through the bridleways of Kent to Warlingham, Woldingham and the drop into Surrey via Caterham. Our first major climb was in here - a horrendous, short sharp climb up a valley side to set us up for a descent into the rolling fields of Surrey. For those of you that don't know the area, it it rolling fields and gentle valleys with a twist - they roll a lot up and down very quickly!!! Nothing much to report on this leg of the route, apart from the hills!

Our route carried on, undulating (understatement!) over the North Downs/Pilgrims Ways to Reigate Hill, our first scheduled stop after about 20 miles. Here we refuelled on scotch eggs, energy drinks, gels and a massive helping of banter from the Ritchie Brothers.

And on we continued, over Reigate Hill, and onto the three largest hills in the area - Leith, Holmbury and Pitch. One thing stood in our ways though - Box Hill. Not a major climb, but we needed to get over it and continue over to the North Downs Way. We got up with little incident, that's if you don't include the fiasco with Richard's popped tubeless tyre. 20 minutes of repair needed till we set off again. We didn't speak to Richard for a few minutes after. Not the group being angry or peeved with Richard, more us fearing our safety!

We cheered him up as I took over and guided us over the track ways of Box Hill and a blast as we hit 50 mph descending the side of the hill to Mickleham. We enjoyed that, as we knew what was coming up - another climb! Just before that, it was "Roger stop" and a request for a "handy item" and some chain lube...

This climb was relentless, taking the start from the vineyard at Westhumble all the way up, and up, and up a bit more to the top of Ranmore Common. More descending was to follow, till we reached Westcott and the hardest part to come - the three hills. Roger managed to meet us at the base of Leith Hill to replenish us. A welcome sight as we were going through suntan lotion, water and energy gels like locusts through a field of corn. Matt especially had set himself a record to eat as much gels as possible in the next few hours - he was going well so far! It was now 4 hours into the ride and the sun was up, we were up for it and the banter was always up!

And up we went, to keep the theme going! We made good time to Holmbury Hill, following a route that was shown to us from the lads at Nirvana Cycles in Westcott. All was going well till disaster struck.

And strike it did! The Git! We were all having a blast through a lovely singletrack section and down a gully descent when Richard faltered and fell. I was a few yards behind and was in full scary downhill mode, when I crashed into his bike that was till over the trail. I flew off over the handlebars, hitting a chicken wire fence, and many, many rocks on the way down. That was my "ouch moment" as I dislocated my little finger in some wire mesh fence, gashed my left elbow and bruised the old body up more. And to top it off, I tore the clasp fitting of my bloody expensive Sidi Dragon 2 shoes! Much "cursing" followed as I put the finger back and threw helmet at tree in anger (tree returned helmet with gusto, hitting me back on the head!) After dusting myself down, scaring poor Richard with my verbal outbursts, and getting back on my bike feeling overly sorry for myself, we carried on. After another brief stop with Roger; to fix me and my damned shoe - (hooray for zip ties!) as well as replenish and water - again, but it was damned hot mum! - we carried on over to the official stop at Peaslake Village store.

Now, for those of you not familiar with the area, to get to Peaslake, we have the option of either a road descent, or "Barry Knows Best," a superlative descent off Holmbury Hill that should go on, if God was an MTB'er, for about 900 miles! But it doesn't, and thank God, as we had a few miles to travel yet to get to Brighton.

Peaslake - an oasis in the middle of the Surrey Hills. Selling cheese twists and coffee to die for to all riders who visit the area! We were now just over 40 miles into the ride, and both were welcome, as well as a few lamb samosas and pork pies. Roger was on call again to provide support and encouragement. He also provided the "handy item" as requested by me earlier at Box Hill - chilled Sudocream!

Bliss to our bottoms in fine cold creamy form!

So, we're 40 odd miles in, were do we all go from here? Another 40 odd miles of course! And, yet again uphill! This time up and over Pitch Hill - the last of the three highest points in the South East. Getting up here would give us our first real glimpse of our goal for the day - South Downs, and beyond that, Brighton.

After a quick climb and descend we spent the next couple of hours traversing our way down to and past Cranfield to pick up the Downs Link, an old railway line now used as a bridleway. It is fast and fairly flat - just what we need after all the climbing we'd done so far. We knew that once we'd reached here that the pace would increase considerably and we could make up good time.

We'll that was the theory anyway! We managed to get onto what can be described as the mud triangle! We got ourselves onto 2 miles of muddy bridleway that sapped our energy even further. Richard does have a habit of finding the mud on a bone dry day. Anything to get the Ritchie brothers to complain and holler again!!!

And find the Downs Link we did. Once I'd fixed/bodged a mechanical problem for Paul, we cracked on. I decided to up the pace, and up the pace we did. In the open trail we blasted along a fair old lick at 18mph plus, sharing the lead duties with Nigel and Michael. This was the hardest part of it all, keeping the pace going on such a flat terrain, for such a long time. I'm glad I brought my MP3 player, I can tell you!

We were again welcome to see Roger now and again for refreshments and Sudocream. Seeing the support car lifted our spirits up and kept the banter and encouragement between all the riders to a top level. The Sudocream kept the bums to a top level!

And on we went, keeping a good pace till we reached the last couple of hills over the South Downs Way, and a finish into Brighton via Shoreham on Sea. One final fuel-stop near the top, followed by a glorious descent into urban chaos and a final push into Brighton. Even the headwind for 5 miles did not deter us as we finished as a group at the Pier.

So, what did we do? Well we achieved a personal goal, a memory to last us for ever, a 13.5 hour team building exercise. 88 miles of frustration, tears, blood, laughter, sore muscles and a XL Double Cheese Burger meal, with coke and large fries! Like I said, "It was a long way to go for a Burger King!"

Many thanks to Richard for putting the route together. To Roger for the support, especially, as he had knack of being right where we needed to be refueled or keel over! And the biggest thanks to all the riders that took part. Some of them had not done an endurance distance like that, so hats off to them.

Is there another?.... we'll see.